In one of the Public Speaking sessions, while there were three hours dedicated to the topic of Prevention Of Sexual Harassment, I had to make it a little different to keep the audience engaged and interested in the topic, hence I made it to Prevention Of Self Harassment.
Self-protection, self-awareness, self-defense becomes the initial preventive measures when it comes to Prevention Of Sexual Harassment. One has to first take care of his/her self, before the law comes into action.
Prevention from sexual harassment starts from self. You must build yourself in such a way, that people have no choice but to respect you. You have to safeguard your self-respect and dignity all the time. It has been observed that many of us live with very low self-esteem. Although we try to present ourselves as confident and well managed, the reality check happens when we come across any unwelcome situations. We usually live with the fear of losing our self – respect, and in the process we actually lose it. When we learn to respect self, we also start to respect others… which helps in reducing any kind of injustice or harassment.
Self-awareness plays a vital in safe guarding self. There is an ABCDE model to understand our own self. Let us go through the model in detail;
Aspirations – We aspire to become someone/something in life, which has brought us to the corporate world. What basic aspirations we have entered this world with, obviously to earn respect, name and fame. What kind of mindset/thought process/personality we carry to achieve these? How well defined our goals and actions are. How much clarity do we have to achieve our aspirations?
Belief/Values – What value system do we have? What values keeps us apart from others? What is our belief system? For example, do we believe that to move the corporate ladder of success, we have to compromise on our values, to be people pleaser?
If you believe that it is not right to share what you are going through or if you share, you will be judged and it may hamper your job, and that you are not supposed to be offending your boss or your seniors etc etc. All these are true till the time your fundamental rights are not at others hands. You need to draw a line between respecting others and protecting self.
Be mindful of your personal values. Values create our personality, our own individual brand, which has to be only stronger and clearer.
Commitments – How committed are we towards our own self, what all measures do we take to fulfil our commitments? What are the commitments towards our family, job, employer? What goals do we have and how focused are we towards achieving them? A regular check on these also helps us in procrastinating our productive time and keeping us away from unnecessary happenings around. There has to be a daily goal to achieve, to remain focussed and dedicated. I am sure, many of us do not believe in having and achieving daily goals, because it requires a lot of efforts, accountability and responsibility. Being committed is not easy either.
Discipline – How disciplined are you towards your goals? What goals do you have and how focused are you towards achieving them? A regular check on these also helps you in procrastinating your productive time and keeping you away from unnecessary happenings around.
As mentioned above the goals you have for life. What are your goals/objectives? You have decided to come out of the four walls of your house to earn respect, to be independent. You have accepted all the challenges you are going to come across during this journey. Having said that, how responsible are you to take the accountability of the consequences of your choices and decisions? How are you going to take care of the competitive unexpected challenges? Blame game is easy, but not the solution. Handling responsibilities with the same enthusiasm as when joined the work is vital. Being in the victimized mode comes to us naturally. There is always a secondary gain, to be a victim, or at least to feel like a victim. So, be aware of this state of affairs at all times.
Emotions – Understanding our emotions is very important, as it’s comes out in our external personality. “When dealing with people, we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, ” Dale Carnegie said this once, to the leaders. Everything we do, the way we behave, react, respond, interact, our interpersonal relationships, all of these stems from our emotions.
How well aware are we of our emotions? How well do we manage our emotions, for that matter, even others emotions? We always have emotional reasons behind our decisions, actions. We always defend ourselves on our negative emotion based decisions, every time we fail, or put the blame on someone else, for the failures of our decisions. This brings us to vulnerable state. People generally become victims of their emotions and get exploited by others. Hence, learning to manage emotions at work, is of prime importance.
Being emotionally stronger makes our personality stronger. It creates strong self defense/protective vibrations around us. It helps in building strong and powerful personal and inter-personal relationships. It makes us an assertive communicator. Emotional consistency creates emotional empowerment and reduces self-sabotaging, self-criticism, self-harming behaviors.